Six Ways To Make It To Another Wedding Anniversary

Today is my wedding anniversary.

Six ways we’ve made it almost three decades now:

1. See your partner through a big ol’ telescope, not a teeny, tiny microscope.  You have to look at the 50,000-foot view and not micro-manage or escalate incidents or disagreements.  Most definitely, stay within the confines of the subject at hand and don’t drag the “kitchen sink” into the room (even if you’re in the kitchen).  Remember why you got together in the first place and all the great qualities and ideals your partner possesses.  Have them front and center in your mind at all times. 

2. Get the last word by apologizing.  So many arguments can be ended with…”sorry.” (it worked for me just yesterday…)

3. Know what being a best friend means and work towards your partner being your best friend.  Lots of people are together for years but have that “other person” in their life they call their best friend.  No reason why you can’t aspire to have the same type of relationship with your partner.  My wife is my best friend.

4. Insert one layer of critique between two layers of praise.  Everyone wants to feel important and if you need to say something that potentially will come across as critical, make sure you note at the same time at least a couple of related thoughts that offer positive reinforcement.  Do not ever take for granted your partner – just like you – wants to feel important.

5. Money serves well but rules poorly.  When we met with the clergy before getting married they advised the #1 thing couples find most challenging is money.  Agreed.  You have to communicate desires and expectations about money on an ongoing basis.  I have yet to meet a couple who doesn’t have this always on their plate.  Recognize you are two, unique human beings with two, unique prospectives about everything…especially money.  Use money…do not let it use you two.

6. Laugh early and often each day.  A sense of humor.  You both gotta have one.

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11 Responses to Six Ways To Make It To Another Wedding Anniversary

  1. Troy Beckman says:

    Congratulations on darn near 30 years. Nos. 2 and 6 come in very handy for me…

  2. Pammy Girl says:

    I have no business commenting on this subject because every one of my relationships ended in a balze of not so much glory. I have no clue how to get past certain issues or how to work through others. Hell… I’m not even sure if I know what love feels like.

    I’ve seen enough of friends and family have “successful” marriages & just as many go through divorce. It seems to me that those who are still married don’t have perfect relationships. They fight and cry; they sleep on couches & take off for 3 hour car rides to no where. They roll their eyes, lose their tempers and at times wish to be single.

    But they go through the daily motions of laundry, taking out the trash, helping kids with homework, going to work, making dinner, struggling with money and it isn’t easy. But they support each other and share in the daily messes with the goal of getting each other through. Being the best friend rather than simply someone to share a bed with lessens the pain of living life alone.

    Congratulations on making it work because marriage is work… but the rewards are worth what it takes to get there. :)

    • Thanks, Pam. Every relationship is a truly unique one whether it is tagged with the word marriage or not. All require attention on a constant basis and hopefully for as many of them as possible, the rewards for hanging in there are indeed rewarding.

  3. Congrats! Good advice. I will remember these for when/if I ever get married.

  4. Thanks, LSON! Much appreciated!

  5. Well said! Everything is important, but I think #1, #2 and #4 are so, so important and so relevant to me!

    I would like to link this post to one of my posts (b/c the content is clearly related)! Would you be okay with that?

  6. Pingback: Realization #55: Make It To Another Wedding Anniversary! « Things You Realize After You Get Married

  7. This is pure gold. You should be lecturing in colleges. There are so many young people need to benefit from this ;-)

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