Today is my wedding anniversary.
Six ways we’ve made it almost three decades now:
1. See your partner through a big ol’ telescope, not a teeny, tiny microscope. You have to look at the 50,000-foot view and not micro-manage or escalate incidents or disagreements. Most definitely, stay within the confines of the subject at hand and don’t drag the “kitchen sink” into the room (even if you’re in the kitchen). Remember why you got together in the first place and all the great qualities and ideals your partner possesses. Have them front and center in your mind at all times.
2. Get the last word by apologizing. So many arguments can be ended with…”sorry.” (it worked for me just yesterday…)
3. Know what being a best friend means and work towards your partner being your best friend. Lots of people are together for years but have that “other person” in their life they call their best friend. No reason why you can’t aspire to have the same type of relationship with your partner. My wife is my best friend.
4. Insert one layer of critique between two layers of praise. Everyone wants to feel important and if you need to say something that potentially will come across as critical, make sure you note at the same time at least a couple of related thoughts that offer positive reinforcement. Do not ever take for granted your partner – just like you – wants to feel important.
5. Money serves well but rules poorly. When we met with the clergy before getting married they advised the #1 thing couples find most challenging is money. Agreed. You have to communicate desires and expectations about money on an ongoing basis. I have yet to meet a couple who doesn’t have this always on their plate. Recognize you are two, unique human beings with two, unique prospectives about everything…especially money. Use money…do not let it use you two.
6. Laugh early and often each day. A sense of humor. You both gotta have one.