15 Things You Will Experience During NFL Wild Card Weekend

1. Multiple shots of Denver Broncos VP John Elway watching the game from his luxury box after every play involving QB Tim Tebow.

2. Multiple graphics showing Denver Broncos QB Tim Tebow’s career passing percentages.

3. Cincinnati Bengals HC Marvin Lewis making a dumb, game-changing decision.

4. The Detroit Lions committing a roughing-the-passer penalty. And looking perplexed after the fact…while opposing QB Drew Brees tries to find his helmet while thinking he’s landed on Bourbon Street.

5. New York Giants HC Tom Coughlin looking unhappy.  Really, really unhappy.

6. The Houston Texans attempting to win by having their offense hand the ball off on every single offensive play.

7. All network pre-game shows discussing a team not involved in Wild Card Weekend, the New York Jets. Rookie QB Greg McElroy…thank you for your honesty...and please let us know your new address.

8. All network pre-game shows discussing Jeff Fisher whether he has a new coaching gig or not.  Which goes to show just how strong the desire is for teams to hire someone where serving as head man in the NFL isn’t their “first rodeo.”  Jeff has coached 16 years to-date without a Super Bowl title.  Of course he’d be in hot demand.

9. Multiple references to the Pittsburgh Steelers’ “what-ifs”…what if QB Ben Roethlisberger was healthy,…what if RB Rashard Mendenhall was not lost for the playoffs…what if DB Ryan Clark was able to play (in Denver’s mile-high altitude).

10. NBC to mention the recently announced “NFL Honors” telecast on the eve of the Super Bowl.  On NBC, of course.  It sounds like the Oscars…hosted by their Alec Baldwin, of course.  There’s a musical performance.  God help us.

11. Every offensive skill position player on the New Orleans Saints’ roster getting a carry or a reception…by the end of their first quarter.

12. NBC color analyst Mike Mayock (working the opening game) blowing the doors off of every other analyst you hear the rest of the weekend.  He’s a Philly native and proud to say so.

13. Multiple references to the Atlanta Falcons having to play outside “in the elements.”

14. NBC running multiple ads for this.

15. Pittsburgh Steelers WR Hines Ward smiling.  (But by the end of the weekend, four teams will not be smiling…)

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26 Responses to 15 Things You Will Experience During NFL Wild Card Weekend

  1. Hysterical. I think you just came up with a new drinking game.

  2. Thanks, Chris. Some of these items noted would drive one to drink anyway, right?

  3. JW says:

    #7 is undeniably true. However, it will also contain much talk about Peyton Manning, the demise of the Colts, and Andrew Luck/draft speculation.

  4. brief22 says:

    Nice one. I have been getting annoyed with the John Elway shots–and te blonde guy behind him texting.

  5. Teeblerone says:

    16. Acute to severe neck trauma from shaking your head trying to figure out how the Denver Broncos won a division.

    #2- To save money, CBS could probably just show the same clip of Wile E. Coyote falling off a cliff after each incomplete pass.

    #8- Whenever a team is looking for a new coach and all the same names get thrown out who have been hired and fired a dozen times, I start to think the only requirement owners are looking for when coming up with coaching candidates is “Hey, I know that name! Bring him in!”

    • Love the additional item and the modifications to the two others. Wile E. Coyote…maybe Tim should have ACME on his jersey. I believe that is where Wile E. got all his faulty merchandise at.

  6. chappy81 says:

    16) 20 references about the Green Bay Packers to 1 reference to the 49ers ratio for the weekend.

  7. Houston fans – feeling today like Charlie Brown holding that football when he knows Lucy will…..

  8. Pingback: Questions, Answers, and False Idols: NFL Wild Card Weekend « 13 Shades of Grey

  9. Phenomenal run down, but you forgot to include the announcers talking repeatedly about how “tough” Big Ben is.

    cheers!

  10. BlogSurface says:

    Nice one. That’s a tough one between the Bengals and the Texans.. *Yawn* Wake me up when the game is over.

    -Christian
    http://www.blogsurface.com

  11. Bobby Charts says:

    Classic! I think all these things happened not once but maybe twice, LOL.
    Great work!

  12. The part about Elway is funny. I was listening to M&M monday morning and Elway was a guest and he acted like it was all his idea that Tebow started “letting it fly”. Maybe it was, but it was funny because I really don’t believe he’s a big backer of Tebow.

    Ron

  13. Pingback: 17 Things You Will Experience During NFL Divisional Playoff Weekend « sportsattitudes

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