10 Things You Will Experience During NFL Championship Weekend

1. Fox running split screen images showing how eerily similar it was Vernon Davis caught the winning touchdown by the Bay in those final seconds for the San Francisco 49ers last weekend…comparing it to Terrell Owens doing it in the same manner at the very end of a playoff game in San Francisco several years back.  Fox will also provide split screen love for the New York Giants showing similarity between Hakeem Nicks’ Hail Mary-helmet catch prior to halftime last weekend and David Tyree’s final moments-Super Bowl helmet catch the last time the G-Men won it all.  Terry Bradshaw will say the Giant receivers were “sure using their head on those plays.”  You will groan accordingly.

2. All of the network pre-game shows will show replays of Giants HC Tom Coughlin smiling at the end of last week’s win over the Green Bay Packers.  Every shot you see of him live Sunday will be one of relentless unhappiness and discomfort…unless of course the Giants solve the 49ers.  He will then smile again.  Once.

3. All of the network pre-game shows will show replays of 49ers QB Alex Smith showing up for his post-game presser last weekend with the garage mechanic’s shirt on, one of those issued by HC Jim Harbaugh to all players and coaches before the season, humorously sporting his name.  They will then show highlights of Smith chewing up the New Orleans Saints last weekend both on the ground and in the air.  You will then hear the words “come of age” so many times you will think Alex was awarded his driver’s permit instead of driving an NFL team to a playoff win.

4. All of the network pre-game shows will discuss the “exciting” potential for a “Harbaugh Bowl” if the Baltimore Ravens and 49ers win their games.  They will then report how “competitive” the first one was Thanksgiving night.  NBC execs will hit their collective knees and give many Thanks if that “Bowl” doesn’t take place, praying instead for a New England Patriots-Giants match-up…not a game that could be a 3-0 final…in overtime.  The post-game handshake possibilities of two brothers bonding aren’t worth that kind of corporate risk.  By halftime of a Ravens-49ers Super Bowl the only people watching Madonna might be the typical handful of fake fans (i.e. NFL sponsors’ relatives) positioned on the field, jumping on cue.

5. All of the network pre-game shows will show replays (again) of Ravens QB Joe Flacco telling the media before their game last week with the Houston Texans he knows they won’t give him any credit if the Ravens win.  He was accurate there (unlike in the game). There will also be mention of his teammate, DB Ed Reed, indicating grave concern for Joe’s play this week during that Ravens’ win.  Joe, you rarely do deserve credit for any Baltimore wins, especially in the playoffs.  A post-season passer rating of 66.2 with only six TD passes…and seven picks…is hard to credit.  More like a debit.

6. By the way, Reed will be hurt twenty-two times on Sunday.  He will miss three plays.

7. Ravens LB Ray Lewis will be shown screaming at no one in particular coming out of the tunnel while half-dressed…as well as loudly lecturing his teammates gathered around him on what they need to do to win.  This will all seem so terribly, terribly familiar you might doze off.  So might his teammates.

8. Regardless of how cold it is in New England come game time, there will be no reference whatsoever to the “frozen tundra of Gillette Stadium.”  It’s like some kind of law or something you can only have frozen tundra in Green Bay, Wisconsin.

9. Women watching Championship Weekend with you will be more intrigued by the Ravens-Patriots match-up than the Giants-49ers.  There are two reasons.  One is Tom Brady, who will likely be quarterbacking New England.  The other is Jon Bon Jovi, who will likely be hanging in Owner Robert Kraft’s luxury box.   Rock stars always get the ladies.

10. Patriots TE Rob Gronkowski will, if given the opportunity, spike a football so hard it will journey to Middle Earth never to be seen again. (And after Sunday, there will only be two teams left to see…)

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Doesn't matter who ya cheer for...connect and communicate...you can also find me at http://www.lifeattitudes.com. bruceaburns@comcast.net
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39 Responses to 10 Things You Will Experience During NFL Championship Weekend

  1. chappy81 says:

    Man, the TO vs. VD crying game is tough to say which is better or less better!?!

    That is kinda weird that Green Bay is the only place that can be referred to as the frozen tundra when plenty of games are played in below freezing weather…

  2. tophatal says:

    VD pardon the pun is now a “new man” . Just ask Mike Nolan or even Mike Singletary ?

    tophatal …………..

    • As I noted on your blog, Tophatal…we all recall Mike Singletary chasing Vernon Davis off the field and then telling the media he only wanted winners. Mike, your thoughts?

      • tophatal says:

        sports’

        And what’s Mike up to nowadays ? No doubt polishing one of his many trophies at home perhaps ? Is Jim Irsay still spikin’ his booze with prescription medication other than Zoloft and Xanax ?

        [yotube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oM1FLAOwC9M]

        tophatal ……………

  3. Spiking a ball to the middle of the earth, lol! That was a good one. I guess I’m one of those in the minority that wants to see a 49ers/Ravens game.

    Ron

  4. brief22 says:

    I like what you said about Ed Reed. There is no doubt that he is one of the toughest players in the NFL.

  5. tophatal says:

    The Colts’ owner with Mellencamp .

    • Any minute now Rob Lowe will give us an update as to Jim Irsay’s future…

      • tophatal says:

        sports’

        sports’

        Wasn’t Lowe once toying with the idea joining the Church of Scientology ? ‘nough said !

        That being said the situation now with the Colts is no more laughable than the Bucs’ or Raiders ! . And as much as I have bemoaned the Glazers as owners (also Bucs’ owner) of the Premiership soccer (with me being an expat Brit and avid soccer aficionado[now domiciled in Central Florida ]) team Man Utd . I can tell you this , the day that they even think about firing that team’s coach Alex Ferguson , will be the day you read about me defecating at the Bucs’ headquarters in Tampa as a sign of protest !

        Hopefully SportsChump will summon up the courage to join me in my protest ! far too !

        tophatal …………

  6. Bobby Charts says:

    Great work, are you in charge of the pre-game shows and so on is sure looks like it! lol

    Gronk is going to have one of those spikes come back so fast and hit him in the helmet and knock him over!

    I think your wrong about the Ray Lewis screaming gesture out of the tunnel…….NOT!

    And the girls the girls the girls they love me “Bradys” new song!

  7. I have absolutely no idea who’s going to win these ballgames.

    Speaking of, get your picks into the Chump and show everyone else you know more than them… or are at least a better guesser.

    http://sportschump.net/2012/01/18/second-annual-nfl-playoff-and-super-bowl-pick-em-contest/8198/

  8. Blog Surface says:

    Bruce… very good post. Like Bobby’s comments, you sure you are not the designated sportscaster for pre-game shows? hehe Anyway, #1 is funny because I can almost see it happening. Gronk sure does spike the ball very hard… any harder and he’ll pull something.

    BTW. outside of this story, i see that your search icon, archives, and categories all dropped down… were you able to fix this.. I might have the answer. Something similar happened to me a long time ago and was able to fix it.

    -Christian

  9. To be honest Bruce, I think I could do without all of this.

    Have a good weekend my friend.

  10. Jup says:

    I’m a woman, and I was fascinated more by the Pats-Ravens game than the Giants-49′ers, but it wasn’t because of Brady and Bon Jovi. True, I’m a Pats fan anyway, but I definitely was more interested in watching if the Pats defense could hold up. They’ve been so terribly suspect all season that I worried they would come apart. Not all women think Brady is pretty.

    Regardless, I’m hoping for a much better performance out of the Pats offense on Feb 5th than they displayed last night.

    • Hey, Jup! Thanks for commenting. I didn’t think Tom looked pretty with his play, but the defense came through numerous times to give them the edge they needed. Two week wait now…hate that. At least Steven Tyler won’t be singing the Anthem. He butchered it at the Indy 500 a few years ago and apparently the Pats front office didn’t know what was coming…or they didn’t care. Tyler also apparently took the requisite “rock star” seat in the Owner’s Box. That didn’t thrill me either.

      • Jup says:

        I’m with you on Steven Tyler. His performance was pretty terrible, but I guess they were willing to take the risk because he’s a local boy. Despite my distaste for Kelly Clarkson, she’ll probably do a better job than Tyler did.

  11. Blog Surface says:

    In that case, ok… just wanted to help if anything! Ready for the Super Bowl!? hehe

  12. Can’t wait for the Super Bowl!!! :D

    By the way, “…Reed will be hurt twenty-two times on Sunday” + “…you can only have frozen tundra in Green Bay, Wisconsin” = hilarious

  13. tophatal says:

    sports’

    Is it possible to suffer from Stockholm syndrome while listening to Colts’ owner Jim Irsay ?

    Is Scott Boras that much of genius to get the Tigers to offer his client Prince Fielder a 9yr $214 million contract ? I know it won’t put him in the same tax bracket as Romney ……… but oh my ! LOL,LOL,LOL !!!

    tophatal …………..

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